Deep down, I think we all want to be “the game changer” for someone else. You know, like in all of those contrived romantic comedies where our playboy protagonist meets our saucy heroine and he swears off his philandering ways in the name of love, because damn it, he’s just never met anyone like her. After all, it’s the plot of just about every single romance novel out there (and trust me, I’ve read A LOT of romance novels). We like to believe that, at least in one person’s eyes, we are the be all end all. The one who made him want to be a better man. Because it’s nice to think that we could be that important to someone. That they would want to be better, just for us.
I’m speaking from a woman’s point of view of course, but I’m guessing that men feel sort of the same way. Doesn’t every guy want to be the hero in some way or another? The one who comes to the rescue and gets the girl who is hopelessly in love with him? The one who heals her broken heart and makes her realize that yes, there are still good men out there.
The tough thing about wanting all of this, though, is the fact that you obviously can’t be the game changer for every person you date. Sure, for awhile you might be (after all, why would you be dating if that wasn’t the case), but the long and short of it is that every single relationship you ever have will come to an end. Except, hopefully, one of them. And it can be difficult to realize that, despite the fact that you’re the main character in your own life, you’re also just another chapter in someone else’s story. The one they didn’t want to be better for, or the one who broke their heart instead of fixing it. And I think we might like to hope sometimes that for at least one person we’re “the one that got away”, but the fact is that a majority of the people we date will move on and find someone who fits them better. Someone who, yes, they are happier with. And that can be a difficult pill to swallow. It hurts our pride, and in some little corner of our hearts it also makes us doubt the truth of the statement we made when the relationship ended, which is often “so and so doesn’t deserve me. I deserve better.” Because honestly, if the relationship ended, eventually the person you used to be with will probably find someone who makes them happier than you ever did.
So okay, this is depressing, right? Oh, woe is us, the forgotten. But the important thing to remember is that this goes both ways. Because eventually you’ll meet someone else too – someone who makes you happier than anyone else you’ve ever been with. And for them, you will be the game changer. Waiting around for that person? Difficult. Painful, annoying, frustrating, miserable, and any number of other unpleasant words. But ultimately, it will be worth it. Because think of how incredible it will be when you’re finally the one who changes the game.