There’s Always Kryptonite

Everyone has that one person who is their kryptonite. Haven’t met them yet? Don’t worry my friend, you will. 

“Kryptonite” (as that person will now be referred to) is the person who came into your life, and for some reason – without your permission – decided that they intended to carve out a place for themselves. Kryptonite hunkered down in your brain, and no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to shake them. More often than not, it’s someone who’s probably no good for you. Someone who’s screwed you over, someone you should dislike or even loathe. But, try as you might, you can’t get rid of them. And the problem is perhaps worsened by the fact that if you’re honest with yourself, you don’t really want to get rid of them. 

Kryptonite is the person who’s call you will always take, even if it’s 3am. Kryptonite is the person you forgive time and time again for being an insufferable bitch and/or ass. You can’t explain why. You’re a self-possessed citizen of the world. You have healthy relationships. You’ve got it going on. 

Except when it comes to Kryptonite. 

Kryptonite could be someone with whom you once had a romantic relationship, but it could just as easily be someone you’re friends with. You know, one of those horridly unhealthy, “if I’m going down I’m taking you with me” kind of friendships. When it comes to Kryptonite, the nature of the relationship usually goes something like this: you give everything, Kryp gives nothing. It’s sort of like the relationship between Iris and Jasper in The Holiday (do not even mock me for referencing that movie. It’s awesome). Or if you prefer to get a bit more intense, it’s Alice and Dan in Closer. 

Relationships with Kryptonite (whether romantic, platonic, or some toxic mix of both) usually go one of two ways: 

A. As previously mentioned, you give everything, Kryptonite gives nothing.

B. You are each other’s Kryptonite, and therefore doomed to an ugly sort of co-dependency that will either wreck your lives or turn into some sort of passionate affair (fair warning: it still won’t end well)  

More or less, Kryptonite sucks. They might not suck as a person, per say, but they suck as a person to you, because they are your weakness. And no one likes to have a weakness. 

I’m not really sure how you go about getting rid of Kryptonite. But sooner or later, it will become a necessity. Sooner or later you have to cut out that friend who’s sucked you into their evil vortex, or that guy you keep going back to even though you know he’s shit, or that girl who promises she isn’t a psychotic bitch anymore, but really still is. 

Kryptonite, man. 

Shit.  

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