Underestimated

Sometimes, women seriously underestimate men. 

A friend of mine mentioned this to me last week, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he had an excellent point. 

From the time we could watch PG-13 movies, we’ve been told over and over again that men only want one thing: sex. That’s it. Don’t hold your breath for an emotional connection. Don’t wait around for Noah from The Notebook to write you love letters. Lower your expectations, and prepare to hold down the fort. 

But that isn’t really fair to men, is it? 

I’m not saying that every guy out there is Romeo, but isn’t it possible that men want a connection just as much as we do? And it must be kind of hard for them, too, because they watched all the same movies we did, and according to that, they’re not supposed to want that connection. They’re supposed to be happy with the conquest, and move along to the next one. 

I’m sure there are plenty of men out there who do just that, and are happy that way. There are plenty of women who do the same thing. But maybe we should work on giving joe shmoe the benefit of the doubt a little more often. I’m not saying to go off blindly trusting that every guy who hits on you wants to be good to you and cuddle with you after a hook up – caution is absolutely necessary, and your safety comes first – but hey, maybe trust that the guy you’re getting to know actually has an emotional range larger than that of a sea cucumber. Maybe he actually likes talking to you. Maybe he even – God forbid – likes holding you and being close to you. 

We can’t go around making blanket assumptions about an entire population – all men are this way, all women are this way – but I think it can be really tempting to do just that. And honestly, I think sometimes we categorize all men as emotional neanderthals because it makes things easier. It means you don’t have to worry about someone else’s emotions in a scenario. ‘He couldn’t possibly care, so it’s all up to me’.

Well, maybe he does care. And that would complicate things immensely, wouldn’t it?

Because it’s a lot easier to ignore your own feelings when you think you’re the only one having any.  

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