A Word to the Nice Guys …

Don’t ever change. 

I’ve dated nice guys who’ve changed, claiming that the way they were before wasn’t “manly” enough. That somehow partying hard, womanizing and always doing things your own way makes you more of a man. It really only proves that you’re still a boy. 

When I was a girl, I wanted the bad boy. Someone rough and dangerous who broke all the rules and never had a plan. It sounded romantic to me, and of course I actually believed all the movies out there about the bad boy falling in love with the one girl who changes him and heals the oh-so-tragic wounds that turned him into what he is.

But then I grew up. I hung around with some “bad boys”, and decided that I didn’t particularly like the way they treated me. What I thought I wanted out of relationships and what I actually want turned out to be two different things. I discovered that in fact no, not all bad boys have a heart of gold hidden under a rough exterior, and no, not all of them are secretly sweethearts once you get to know them. Some of them are, of course, but if you get to know a guy and discover he’s not all that great, chances are he’s going to keep being not all that great. You’re not going to “change” him. 

I’ve heard nice guys say time and time again “forget this, I’m just going to start being a douchebag because that’s all any girl seems to want”. Well first off, I can guarantee that’s not true. Secondly, that statement kind of makes me want to slap them upside the head. You’re not a fifteen year old emo kid anymore. The whole “NO ONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD likes me this way so I’m going to change” schtick is kind of overdone. If you’re willing to stop being gentlemanly just because you think more girls like assholes, it hardly raises my level of respect for you. And really, I get what it’s like. I’m passed over plenty in favor of girls with fake tans, fabulously long hair and a cookie cutter sense of style. I’m just smart enough to know that if I have to change to get a guy to look at me, he’s not worth having. 

The same goes for you, nice guys. If a girl doesn’t appreciate maturity, chivalry and sensitivity, are you entirely sure you actually want her? 

So keep it up. Don’t ever change. We’ll be left with nothing but jackasses if you do. 

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