The thing about knights in shining armor is that any idiot can put on a metal suit. It’s not that hard to appear shiny and perfect on the outside when no one can see the inside.
I’ve never been attracted to the “right” sort of man. Well, maybe once, and even then it turned out he wasn’t the right sort after all.
The question for me has always been this – do I want a man who can balance out my wild side, or one who can keep up with it? Ideally you need some sort of balance in your life. Someone who can calm you down when you freak out, slow you down when you’re moving too fast for your own good, that sort of thing. But do you have to sacrifice the one who can keep up with you for the one who can keep you grounded? Are they ever one in the same?
To be frank, I have a fondness for sarcastic, irritating, cocky men. They’re generally interesting, challenging, never boring, and I relish the opportunity to knock them down a few pegs. I’m a writer, verbal sparring is a turn-on. I have no patience for men who are truly mean or disrespectful, only the ones who are always ready with a quick come-back. Their confidence is sexy, and I’m not exactly shy, so it works out. I’ve found that I have very little patience for a man without a backbone.
But these men, are they the “right” sort? Is there such a thing? Cocky, sarcastic and irritating doesn’t usually come with a “commitment” button. Maybe that’s part of the fun, wondering if you’re the game-changer. But life is not a romantic comedy, so the odds of that being the case are almost as slim as Kate Hudson’s waist.
I’m a romantic, somewhere deep down. Eventually I want all the wonderful things that come along with finding the love of your life (because yes, I believe in that idea). Yet I’m more or less all about self-sabotage lately. And I understand why, as annoying as it is to psycho-analyze myself. If he’s available, really available, I don’t want him, because the idea of an actual relationship terrifies me. Too soon, not ready, blah blah blah. But if there’s an expiration date or an element that promises it won’t happen? Great. Fantastic. I pick that relationship. If you can even call it that.
I would really love to be with a nice guy. Not just an idiot in a metal suit, a real nice guy. No armor required, backbone already in place. But I wonder if I could be happy that way – if the nice guy and the cocky bastard who keeps me on my toes can ever possibly be the same person.
Because being bored with someone is probably worse than being lonely without someone.