Strange as it is, I can’t remember the last time I held hands with someone.
It’s been over a year, at least. And it’s not that I haven’t dated people over the course of that year. It’s just that, well, we haven’t held hands.
It seems pretty damn odd when I think about it. Because holding hands is sort of the most basic and innocent form of contact, isn’t it? You’re walking down the street with your significant other, and you’re holding hands. Totally acceptable PDA.
But then I consider the level of intimacy I had with these men, and I suppose it wasn’t really that high. There were no late night ‘baring your soul’ conversations. No deeply philosophical debates. Just hanging out. And maybe you don’t hold hands with people you hang out with.
It’s sort of like the part of “Pretty Woman” where Julia Roberts explains to Richard Gere that she does everything but kiss on the mouth. Because kissing on the mouth is too intimate. Not like holding hands is an extremely intimate gesture, but depending on the moment, it’s definitely more personal than a make out session. You might make out with the hot guy at the bar – you wouldn’t go up to him and say “Hi, can I hold your hand?”
The idea of an innocently intimate gesture is sort of getting lost in our society though, isn’t it? “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” has been replaced by such charming lyrics as “You don’t need no horse or saddle, imma give you this dick to ride.”
Golly, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.
Really though, the “holding hands” philosophy can be extended to everything – because basic intimacy is getting lost in business, too. In negotiations, we rush through pleasantries to get to the “sex” of the matter. Get it done, and get it done fast. Lasting professional relationships don’t seem to matter as much as they used to, and they really should. Now, sometimes you just need to get down and dirty to get the job done. But that shouldn’t be the way you do business as a rule. It should be the occasional exception. It seems like people are getting more and more frightened of a face to face conversation, choosing instead to email or call rather than actually (God forbid) sit down with another person.
I’d like to hold hands more – both literally and figuratively. Forging intimate connections is still the most important part of your personal and professional life, even if these days we seem to find it more terrifying that leaping out of a moving car into a volcano.
So, you know, hold more hands in your life. Just make sure you sort out whether it should be figurative or literal before you get pepper-sprayed.