Stay or Go

“Never pick up and go somewhere just because of another person.”

That’s something I think we’ve all heard before. When we were in high school, it was “Don’t pick a college just because your boyfriend/girlfriend is going there.” Then after college it was “Don’t move someplace just because the person you love is going there”, “Don’t take that job just because you want to be with someone.”

In all seriousness, this makes total sense. Probably more so in high school, because statistically speaking almost every single high school relationship ends. It gets to be trickier in college and beyond, because things get more serious. But the fact still stands: A person is a bad reason to make a decision, because people can be inconsistent. People can leave. If you go someplace for a person and then the person leaves your life, what exactly do you have? 

I think the point of everyone always saying this is that you’re supposed to make decisions based on what’s best for you. And frankly, that’s where it gets complicated. If you’d be miserable without someone, does it make sense to go where they’re going? Or should you stick it out someplace else and be miserable just so you don’t make a big change based on a person? 

This problem happens to be irrelevant to me at present, but I know plenty of people who struggle with it, and it’s never as cut and dry as it seems. Because in all honesty, if you’re not supposed to stay or go for a person, what are you supposed to stay and go for? A job? On the one hand that makes sense, because a job will probably be more steadfast. But then again, maybe not. Maybe you move across the country for a job and it doesn’t work out. It’s a gamble either way. 

And frankly, in the scheme of things, people are more important than jobs. Cheesy as it sounds, I’m pretty sure that love is the best reason to anything. The reason I enjoy my job so much is because I love the people. Even though I’m making career decisions, I’m still making them based on love for the people I work with. Talk about a gray area. 

At the end of the day, I think you just have to trust yourself. You know if someone is worth the risk. You know if a job is worth the risk. Choices like that will never be easy, but you’ll be better off if you know you made the right choice for you -not the right choice based on criteria given to you by someone else. 

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